


you make my heart experience the big bang all over again

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - College/University, Art Student Huang Ren Jun, Cuddling, Cute, Dorks in Love, Fluff, Jealous Na Jaemin, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Shy Huang Ren Jun, Strangers to Lovers, jaemren, physics student jaemin, renmin, they are so cute i want to bite them, we love a good renmin fic written at 4 am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:48:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26545495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Maybe you should just do what you are best at ." he says .Renjun furrows his brows at that "Chickening out ?" he answers.Chenle laughs dolphinly at that and answers " Send him your drawings hyung . You don't have to tell that it was you who sent them but maybe this can boost your courage a little bit and in the end you may even end up confessing your undying love , and by the way i have saw enough of your Jaemin sketches to tell that he would love them , you are talented Injunnie  "" wow , you really are a Psychology student Chenle . Thats the greatest idea someone ever told me since i ever started crushing on him ."or five times Renjun secretly sending gifts to his undying crush (its Jaemin , to no ones surprise) and that one time he recieves a gift from him .
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 6
Kudos: 112





	you make my heart experience the big bang all over again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [poutyongs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/poutyongs/gifts).



> this fic is the outcome of 2 consecutive nights that i missed my ex and pulled an all nighter . 
> 
> I was currently working on a renhyuck fic but somehow i couldnt continue writing , but then i read @poutyongs' renmin fic which inspired me so much that i knew i had to write this . thats why i wanted to gift this work to you . 
> 
> thank you and i hope you read & like the fic . and after reading this fic go check @poutyongs' fic , it may also inspire you to write some renmin :)
> 
> and about the story , basically renjun is an art majoring cutie and Jaemin majors Physics . I'm not going to spoil anything further , just know that i have no idea about art majors and stuff but if i gave wrong information , i would be glad if you let me know so i can fix it ,  
> thank uu <3
> 
> I hope everyone likes it , enjoy reading and forgive me if i made grammer mistakes ~

Renjun found himself drawing another portrait of Jaemin . He couldn't stop himself even when he realized it. His only happiness whom he never even talked to . 

It is weird how a person who doesn't even know their existence could make someone happy . 

"Pathetic" he would call himself staring at Jaemin in the classroom of the only lesson they shared which was art history. 

Why would a Physics major even choose this class , he wondered often to himself . But all his questions flew away when Na Jaemin , the boy himself, entered the class with all his glory and a cute smile he flashed while talking to his friend Jeno . 

Renjun was startled when someone sat next to him , it was Donghyuck . He was grinning , looking at the sketchbook laid in front of his best friend . 

"Are you going to take a step or do you want me to do it for you ?" he asked. 

Realizing the sketchbook that was open in front of him and the class that was beginning to get crowded, he quickly opened a new clear page and turned to Donghyuck . 

"Stop it Hyuck , he is Jaemin and i stand no chance next to him you know that" he answered sighing sadly . Eventhough Donghyuck wanted to tease him more he stopped when he saw the sad look on Renjun's eyes . Emphaty evident in his voice , he said ,

"You never even tried Junie , who knows what could happen . Did you expect me to be with Mark when i was crushing on him almost everday ?Neither of us did and don't try to say that you knew it , he was Mark Lee bro . " 

He knew , Mark Lee one of the best rappers in the music majors looked like a hard-to-get person when he didn't know him and Donghyuck talked about him nearly everyday . 

He remembers one day , after he was full of his Mark quota he yelled at Hyuck to shut up and get over his crush because Mark would never notice him . He regretted the words as soon as they left their mouth seeing Donghyuck leaving with teary eyes .

He apologized and bought him coffee everyday for two months, to make up for the stupid things he said because of his short-temper . After Dongyuck forgave him , he patiently listened to Donghyuck everytime he talked about Mark, even tried to help him even though he never expected them to be together. 

But Donghyuck had the courage to take a step and here they were, all cute and clingy whenever they met for lunch in the cafeteria. Who knew ? he asked himself too but he just , was a coward who had no hope . 

After that , neither of them were able to say anything since Professor Kim already entered the class and started talking about Van Gogh or something . Renjun really couldn't focus with the little sleep he got yesterday . 

He laid his head on the desk facing the right side of the classroom , where Jaemin sat and closely listened , frequently sipping on his coffee which was too dark for Renjun's liking . If Renjun hadn't closed his eyes to sleep through class at that moment , he would've come eye to eye with Jaemin , but both Renjun and Donghyuck missed the way Jaemin was staring at him .

After the classes ended Renjun wouldn't usually go to the dorms immeaditely . Eventhough he was an arts major , he loved going to the music class to play the piano and sing a little bit to help his mind. It was his only way to keep his sanity . 

He sat across the piano , singing the first song that came in to his mind which was Fools . This song reminded him of Jaemin . He was a fool to fall for the cutest and also the hottest boy at school. Lots of people already crushing on him , he knew he stood no chance against them . 

He got so lost in the lyrics that he was shaken awake when he heard someone call "Jaemin ? " 

then he realized that a boy was standing in the doorframe just a second ago and he was sure he saw the pink strands of hair . He suddenly felt ashamed of himself quickly packing his stuff to leave. 

While he was leaving with steps , that were so fast that it could almost match up to the beating of his heart -almost- . As he left the room he saw Jaemin and Jeno, in front of the dance practice room next to the music room talking intensely about something he couldn't tell.. 

Renjun walked through the hall and walked past them keeping his head down hidden in the hood of his sweatshirt . 

Yet another ruined chance for the future , he thought . He embarassed himself because he certainly was sure Jaemin heard him . 

He went straight to his dorm room after that . Laying on his bed as soon as he arrives which makes his roommate Chenle throw him looks filled with confusion .

"Are you alright buddy ?" he asks a hint of worry in his voice .

Renjun softly turned his face towards the boy still laying on the bed . "I am just so tired of everything , i am tired of being a coward i am genuinely sick of this Lele . Any advice for that ? "

He asked hopeless but still wanting to find a solution to this suffering he had since last semester . 

Chenle smiled warmly " You can start with baby steps hyung . Just maybe leaving little hints for Jaemin ?" he answered.

"I didn't even mention a name , how do you even know ? "

Chenle laughs at that and points at the piles of papers on his desk which were either old sketches or Jaemin .

"Do you think i am blind or something ? It doesnt matter though. Maybe you should just do what you are best at ." he says . 

Renjun furrows his brows at that "Chickening out ?" he answers. 

Chenle laughs dolphinly at that and answers " Send him your drawings hyung . You don't have to tell that it was you who sent them but maybe this can boost your courage a little bit and in the end you may even end up confessing your undying love , and by the way i have saw enough of your Jaemin sketches to tell that he would love them , you are talented Injunnie " 

This idea of Chenle lights a bulb in his head and he stands up so fast that his world goes black for a second. He then runs to Chenle and cuddles him while speaking " wow , you really are a Psychology student Chenle . Thats the greatest idea someone ever told me since i started crushing on him ." They both laughed and Renjun felt a glint of hope in his chest , something he never experienced before . 

"But before anything , you up for binging Star Wars ? I think you can at least do this for me since i brought up such a great idea " 

Chenle looked at him with puppy eyes which Renjun could never say no to and he was right , he owed Chenle . So they ordered their favorite food from the Chinese restaurant that made food just like their hometown restaurants , still not as good as their mothers' homecooked meals but this helped the homesickness they felt . 

It was Friday just after their midterms so they had a whole day to binge their favorite TV series and then a whole day to sleep , feeling close to dead after not sleeping for that many consecutive hours . 

After fighting over the order to watch the series which they debated for half an hour till their food arrived , they finally decided on Chenle's order. (Even though he let Chenle start with the 1st movie Renjun still believed the correct order was 4-5-6-1-2-3)

Just for the sake of the idea and hope that Chenle planted in his heart , he thought , Jaemin's smile appearing in his mind . 

Chenle already understood what was on the other boy's mind , but never opened the subject about how in some scenes Renjun wouldn't react the way he normally does, for example not imitating Darth Vader when he says his iconic line "Luke , i am your father" which he does everytime they watch the movie together. 

Indeed his mind was somewhere else thinking about the cute pink haired boy , occasionally smiling at the thought of making him smile . 

So he began his plan , 

一 (one)

The first sketch that he was planning to give Jaemin was the one he drew with the exact pink ballpen that matched his hair color and while he was buying it , he was thinking how cute it would look when he drew Jaemin with that pen . 

He slowly folded the sketch and put it in an envelope which had 

"for Na Jaemin" 

written in the front and was laid next to a pack of cookies he baked himself. 

He arrived extra early for his class that day , the art history class that they shared . He left the envelope and the cookies on the desk he knew Jaemin sat on every time . It was too early in the morning so he was the only one in the class . After he left the small gift he smiled to himself and hoped things would go alright. 

He left the class not to seem suspicious to anyone and went to the café in their school campus to order hot chocolate . As he got his drink he thanked the boy whose namecard said 'Jisung' and went to sit near the window , plugging his airpods which Chenle bought him for his birthday .

He watched as the campus slowly woke up , sipping on his favorite drink enjoying the peaceful music playing . He was curious how the cute boy would react . He was so immersed thinking about the boy that he spaced out , not even seeing Jaemin entering the café telling the barista his order of lots of extra espresso shots in an Americano with no water . 

If Jisung wasn't already used to this order he would widen his eyes and would worry over the boy for toxicating himself (which he still occasionally worried but didnt say a thing )

As Jaemin was waiting for his order , he looked around to see a cute brown eyed boy looking outside with a smile on his face. The view of the small boy made him smile and he was also surprised to see the boy here early in the morning as he usually was either late for the morning classes they shared or came in minutes before . 

As Jisung poked him on his shoulder , he came to reality and blushed a light pink when he realized Jisung following the source of his attention . 

"You are into art students , huh ? " he asked teasingly , making Jaemin blush and glare at him which was everything but intimidating . 

He took his order and just when he was about to leave to meet Jeno , Jisung silently yelled only for Jaemin to hear , 

"I know a friend who is his roommate " he says grinning which made Jaemin roll his eyes and leave the café to meet Jeno. 

When the time of the lesson arrives , Renjun stands up and bows Jisung goodbye before excitedly walking to class . 

When he arrives , Jaemin is still not there and he lets a breath out of relief , since he really wants to see his reaction . 

As he was reading a book that was his assignment for next weeks class he hears whispers filling the class . He looks at the source of the whispers which were now much louder . He sees Jaemin , cookies and envelope in his hand , confusion clearly read from his face . He looks around which causes Renjun to drop his head down to his book not to get caught staring. 

He slowly lifts his head finding Jaemin fondly looking at the sketch as Jeno beside him teases him for having a secret admirer.

He sees Jaemin's face lighten up at the sight of the pretty drawing and he knows it was worth waking up at 5 am that day just to see him smile like that . 

He notes in his mind to thank Chenle for the idea again and also thanks god that Donghyuck slept through class that day , Donghyuck would know it was him and he would endlessly get teased by him . 

Jaemin is beautiful he thinks to himself looking at how cute he looks when he is eating the cookies he baked himself. 

He feels greater than ever .

二 (two)

After that day , Renjun put even more effort on his drawings and thought ways of making the boy more happy. 

This time he was drawing on his tablet . The lo-fi music in the background making him relax and focus on the pretty boy who was staring back at him through a drawing . 

This time he was going to send a mail to him . He found his mail address accidentally when he saw Professor Kim mailed them their next assignment and also noticed the way that he sent the mail to the whole class at once . 

He accidentally clicked a button which showed all of the students' mail addresses , that made his mouth drop when he saw his name . 

Then the idea of drawing on his tablet came to his mind and here he was , creating a new mail address just so he wouldn't be exposed. 

from : catsarecutebutyouarecuter@gmail.com

to : jaeminana0813@gmail.com 

* a colored portrait of jaemin inserted *

in case you ever feel overwhelmed or stressed , i made 

a youtube playlist consisting of cute cat videos . 

cats are you cute , but you are way cuter na jaemin 

thank you for being my happiness 

he contemplated whether he should send it or not for a couple of minutes , staring nervously at the screen thinking if this was too much. 

he jumped on his seat when he heard Chenle's voice 

"Just send it already , whats the point in thinking that much ? and trust me everybody would love a playlist of cute cat videos" 

Renjun slightly blused at being exposed to his roommate when he was trying to give the image that he was casually studying . He didn't answer and hit the send button without much thinking. 

It was a Friday night , just one week after he decided to give the boy who stole his heart little hints . He wouldn't be able to get his full reaction but maybe , he thought , he would get a reply to his mail . 

He really hoped that this would make him smile all shiny and cute.

He didn't see the reaction but when Jaemin got the mail , feeling tired from all the days he had been getting 4 hours of sleep to study for a lesson he barely understood and stressed about how he did on the midterms and if he would fail any class of his . 

He was laying on his bed rubbing the temples of his head. He just wanted to sleep , though he couldn't ignore the notification coming from his computer meaning he got a mail . He swiftly got off his bed thinking it's from one of his Professors . 

He was confused when he saw a portrait of himself and furrowed his brows further as he saw a playlist of 100 videos of cats . 

He clicked one and started watching . He watched one after another , not even realising that his stress was now , nowhere to be found . 

After he watched the video where two cats were talking and not even noticing the fact that he was smiling crazily until his roommate interrupted his session with the cats . 

Jisung , yeah , the coffee shop boy also being his roommate , just returned from his part-time job finding the pink haired boy all cuddled up in his blankets watching cat videos . 

"since when are you so obssesed over cats , i thought you were a dog person ? " he was indeed a dog person , they even had a long debate about which is cuter last week but these cat videos seemed to take all of his stress away . 

"since someone made a 100 video playlist of cat videos for me" he answered then opening the drawing of himself and he feels his smile getting bigger . Whoever this person was , he or she was very talented and he would love to meet the person behind both of the drawings of himself . 

Jisung laughed and pointed to the pink sketch of Jaemin before saying " The same person who did that ? " he asked . 

Jaemin nodded , he saw a cute sign in both of the drawings in the same place, the right corner where Jaemin's heart would be (in the drawing) . 

After a couple of more teasy comments from Jisung , like "Aww hyungie has a fan " and "I wonder who this secret person is , he better be handsome " he rolled his eyes at him and started writing a reply to the person who called him cute . 

from : jaeminana0813@gmail.com

to: catsarecutebutyouarecuter@gmail.com 

hey , 

thank you for those cat videos 

even though i am a dog person i enjoyed watching those 

it was definitely a good way to spend the day after all of  
those midterms like this 

thanks cat person , and btw your drawings are really good. 

he sent the mail as soon as he wrote the last word not giving much thought about who it would be . 

he knew the person was from his art history class but there were lots of people who unlike him were art students . 

He slept peacefully that day , for the first time after days of stressed out sleepless nights . 

Renjun was dreaming about holding Jaemin's hand and hearing his sweet laugh after explaining him how cute cats are . 

He sighed sadly knowing that this could only be a dream of his as he sat up on his bed and stared at the younger boy soundly asleep on the bed across from his . Chenle was only a freshman but he was tiring himself to death with all of the studying he did . He noted to himself to treat him with a good meal tomorrow for his hard work . 

Just as he opened his laptop he recieved a mail , making his heart beat fasten in just a few seconds. As he opened the mail , he let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding . Relief rushed through his veins and after he read the same mail for the thousandth time he closed the lid of his laptop and laid on his bed ,  
smiling contently . 

三 (three)

The next week went by so fast and was filled with lots of assignments he had to finish, he didn't even had the time to think of his next hint . 

He was sitting with Chenle in the campus café when Chenle's face suddenly lit up with a new idea . 

" I found it " he said and without giving any explanation he stood up to talk to the barista who was cleaning the counter glancing occasionally at their table . His name was Jisung he remembered from last week but why was Chenle walking towards him ? 

He threw a curious look their way . They started talking and Jisung grinned at something Chenle said and Renjun realised how cute they look together . 

After Jisung told another barista to take his place for a few minutes , they both came to the table where Renjun was waiting for the two of them to spill the beans patiently . 

Jisung laughed at the curious look on Renjun's face and said , 

"Jaemin is my roommate " which made Renjun's mouth drop and turn his head quickly to Chenle who was not looking at him aware of the burning glare Renjun threw his way . 

"Hey , chill dont look at Chenle like that . I'm not going to spill anything to Jaemin about who his secret admirer is , i am just surprised it was you . " he said eyebrows lifted making Renjun blush a deep red and clenching his fist before looking at Jisung 

"Don't you dare say a thing to Jaemin" 

Jisung laughed at that and assured him " Dont worry i am only here to help and Chenle had this brilliant idea of you leaving a sketch here at the café so i can deliver it to him without exposing you . He visits this place nearly every morning and even comes to study here when the library is full "

Renjun thought for a second before speaking 

"Okay , i admit that it is a great idea but are you sure you can keep your mouth shut when he asks you about it ?" 

Jisung imagines his roommate's reaction when he gives him an envelope . He would be definitely asking him thousands of questions but he could pretend he doesn't know and that he just found the envelope with Jaemin's name on a random table when he was cleaning the tables . 

He explained his plan to Renjun which made him smile like an idiot . Jisung and Chenle stared at him wildly .

"wow , your roommate is totally whipped for Jaeminie" that made Renjun glare at them before whispering "don't talk like i am the only one whipped for someone here" in a tone he knew they would hear . 

They both looked away and blushed simultaneously and pretended they didn't hear . 

Renjun continued talking about the plan " Can you also tell him that someone paid for his coffee and a piece of cheesecake when you give the envelope ? I will pay the price for it when i bring the envelope . I know this will create suspicions that you know who it is , but tell him it has nothing to do with the envelope and that you don't know me , okay ?" 

Jisung nodded and so the third act began . 

It has been almost 2 weeks and Jaemin still didn't get anything from his secret admirer . He felt sad even though he would never admit this . 

He didn't even realize he was looking forward to see himself drawn on a paper again until he was given a cute envelope by Jisung . 

He went to the café to relax since his whole day was filled with turning in his assignments and working on the Physics Lab report his Professor insisted him to finish . 

He smiled when he saw Jisung behind the counter preparing an order for the cute boy in his art history class . 

He was wearing cute glasses that he was sure he had never seen him wearing before . 'cute' he mumbled . 

'Jisungie , i am so tired , please give me coffee " he said with a cute aegyo voice which startled both of the boys who were talking . 

Jisung never mentioned before that he knew the cute boy . He recalled a memory from a couple of weeks ago though , when he said he knew his roommate. 

Jisung turned towards him and grinned before saying "Wait hyung , I am all yours after i deliever Renjunie-hyungs order . "

Renjun , he mumbled to himself , his name was just as cute as the boy. 

When he recieved his order , which was a hot chocolate he kindly bowed with a smile and sat back on his seat near the window where another boy -he remembered his name as Donghyuck- was waiting for him . 

Just as he opened his mouth , Jisung spoke ,

"Hyung , last day someone left this envelope that had your name on it . I found it as i was cleaning the tables . " He dropped an envelope on the counter which made Jaemin childishly smile as he opened it and found a cute cartoonish drawing of himself.  
There was a cute speech baloon just above the cartoon which said :

"Why am i so cute ? I shouldn't be this cute , all the boys and girls will come after me now !" 

It made him laugh out loud at the adorable sight. Jisung shoot his head up staring like he was going crazy . 

"Ah , and before that some boy , who i don't recall his name at all asked if we could give you a cheesecake with your favorite order as a gift and actually paid for it ."

That left Jaemin shocked , staring at the paper in his hand which had a note below he forgot to read .

" Don't drink too much of that drink , it's literally poison . Do you wanna die >:( " 

He felt even more confused than before and was deep in thoughts that he didn't even realize his order was ready . 

"Jisungie , you have to tell me who this is or i will die out of curiousity . How did he look like ? Was he someone we know ? What's his name ?" he asked forgetting to breathe. 

Jisung put on a sad smile "Hyung i was in the back and Johnny Hyung was taking the order, by the time i arrived he already left the café and that was actually when i found the envelope" 

Jaemin pouted at the answer taking his order and sitting at a table with the envelope still in his hand. He sighed sadly . He wished he could find out who that person is . He usually was a really good detective but the other hadn't left any clue at all .

He was going crazy because of his curiousity that he even thought whether he should get the fingerprints on the paper checked . He was intensely thinking not aware what was going on in the corner just across him and next to the window . 

"Fuck my luck " Renjun whispered to himself as Donghyuck already started teasing him . 

"Injuniee" he nearly shouted out his name with a high pitched voice which turned in to muffled sounds after Renjun shut his mouth with his hand staring at the pink haired boy whether he had noticed but for his luck he was staring at the paper with furrowed brows while feeding himself the cheesecake . 

Donghyuck continued , this time a little silent 

" I am so dissapointed , how can you not tell me about this we could make such great plans together " he pretended to be sad pouting at him . 

Renjun rolled his eyes "You know exactly why Hyuck "

Even though Donghyuck teased him for the next few hours and mark the fact that Renjun was a short-tempered boy , he couldn't get the image of Jaemin smiling at him out of his head . 

Oh , and his laugh that sounded like angels were singing.  
-cheesy he thought to himself - 

He couldn't get him out of his head which made Renjun question , Maybe i should have never have started this hint thing . He was feeling himself falling more and more for the boy and his heart beating faster and faster which he was sure would cause him a heart attack if it could beat any faster. 

One more he thought , one more hint . or , maybe two . 

四 (four)

He was at the library , studying for finals that were coming up next week . He normally doesn't come to the library that often , since most of his finals consisted of actually paintings not exams. 

But he was currently studying art history with Donghyuck .

As he saw , a fluffy pink haired Jaemin enter the library with a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants he awed at the sight . Staring a little too long that Donghyuck looks up and follows his stare and grins at the sight . 

"Time for Act number 4 " he whispers . 

Renjun looks up , questioningly . 

"You wanted to give him a book dumb-dumb remember ? Now is the perfect time" 

He got Renjun's bag before he could even process what was happening and took out the book "Cosmos" from his bag . Even though he wasn't into Physics , Relativity theories etc. , he loved this book in every possible way . He could even say it was his favorite book - besides his books about art- . He even watched the documentary of this thousands of times. 

He wasn't sure about how the other boy would like it though , since it wasn't exactly about physics . But since he was like a star , even a whole galaxy -again , cheesy - for Renjun , he wanted to give him this with a special drawing he drew mindlessly while he was thinking about the smile he gave him that day which was now 2 weeks ago . 

He knew now was the right time , 

"But how are we going to deliver it to him when he literally is sitting on a desk with Jeno ? "

Donghyuck gives him an assuring smile,

"Trust me Junnie , i got this . You just focus on your essay . Your command is my order majesty ." He said bringing his hand up to his head like a soldier which made Renjun laugh softly and silently as to not disturb all the students who were studying next to them.

He returned to his work and got so caught up in Da Vinci's masterpieces that he didn't even realize Hyuck leaving the table.  
He just came to his senses after he felt a kick under the table. 

"Ouch Hyuck , what are you doing ? " he whisper-shouted . 

As he was about to throw a glance at him , he realized Donghyuck packing his things and grinning at the same time .

"Don't tell me we are screwed or i will kill you " he said a little too loud , causing shhh sounds which he apologetically bowed to the people around him while packing his books . 

"Just come with me i will tell you and don't worry you are not the one who is screwed its me . Hurry !"

Jeno and Jaemin just left the library to grab a coffee from the coffee maschine which Jaemin despised but the campus café was already closed so he had no other choice . 

The library was open 24/7 since it was the week before finals and Jeno saved a place for the both of them before classes ended since they seemed to never find a place whenever they came after 8 pm . 

They went to their table and he saw a book on his desk. He picked it up and tapped the person sitting next to him which he recognized as Lucas , who was just a year older than him . 

"Hey , is this your book ? i think it accidentally slipped on my part ." 

Lucas smiled at that and said , " No , no . I saw someone putting it here . What was his name again ? Hyuck something . The music majoring kid . " 

Jaemin opened the book with a puzzled look , a folded paper falling on his desk . He picked it up and as he unfolded it he couldn't take his eyes of from whatever this was . It was obviously himself again but this time his eye balls were replaced with stars and galaxies . There was also a heart drawn on the place where his heart is and the heart was also filled with stars . 

behind the paper there was written ,

" you have a whole galaxy in your eyes , especially when you smile like this . i am jealous that i am not the only one seeing that

p.s: this is my favorite book , i hope you like stars as much as i do . "

He was really taken aback by the beauty of this . He only realised he had been staring at it mesmerized , when Jeno snapped his fingers in front of his eyes before he took away the paper from his hand to take a look at it , looking equally moved as Jaemin . okay maybe not as much as Jaemin but his eyes widened and mouth was opened to mouth a "Wow" .

Was his secret admirer really Donghyuck ? 

"do you know Donghyuck ?" he asked Jeno . 

"The music major kid , of course , he is dating Mark-Hyung " he answered still looking at the drawing and continueing with a "This one is probably the best one out of all the ones you recieved "

Jaemin nodded , thinking . He usually never was the oblivious type but right now he felt really dumb for not being able to figure out who behind all of this was . 

Maybe someone made Donghyuck place it on his desk so he wouldn't get caught . This has to be it , he thought . But who ?

That night after he looked at the drawing and laid in his bed , a face popped in his mind : the cute brown haired boy . Could it be him ? He was Donghyuck's best friend he knew that for sure and he remembered that sometimes he would catch him stealing glances his way in class, looking away when Jaemin turned his way . Wait , was he hoping it would be him ? 

Suddenly he felt his heart beat faster which he thought "what the hell, calm down" 

that night he fell asleep dreaming of the tiny boy and his cute glasses .

五 (five)

The finals week went like hell , not that Jaemin's exams went bad which was actually the opposite . It was just so tiring for Jaemin and just last week he made it his mission to observe the adorable boy to find more clues . 

He didn't even see the boy around at all besides that one time when he was carrying a canvas bigger than him struggling and just when he was going to make an attempt to help the poor boy , a tall figure appeared next to him , Doyoung-hyung . 

He helped Renjun , lifting the canvas and they carried it to the class right next to the place where Jaemin was standing . They shared a look for a split second and Renjun threw a small smile at him before entering the classroom . 

Jaemin was blinded with the smile and felt a little pang in his chest which he quite didn't understand . He walked towards his next exam which was , finally , his last . 

Renjun also handed his last painting which was the huge canvas and made a quick presentation explaining the details about the techniques he used his mind still on the look Jaemin gave him . 

He tried his best to hide the canvas from him since it was a huge canvas filled with Na Jaemin aka the universe . Not only galaxies and stars but Renjun tried to visualize the Big Bang (which exactly was how Jaemin made his heart feel like, Like it was going to explode any second creating a constantly expanding galaxy) 

He was trying to lift the heavy canvas and saw Jaemin about to make an attempt to help him which he would normally be so happy about but this time he stressed out and he was really thankful to Doyoung hyung when he elped him just in time . 

Renjun didn't catch the glimpse of dissappointment in Jaemin's eyes though when he looked at him with a smile just before he entered the class . 

If he saw the painting , it would be a total disaster , he thought . 

About Doyoung , he was a music major and a senior who occasionally gave him vocal lessons . 

They met a year ago coincidentally when he was playing the piano in the music room and singing . Doyoung complimented him and gave him advice on his singing . 

He was like a brother to him . 

After Doyoung carried the canvas inside the classroom he told Renjun to come to the music room after his presentation . He smiled and nodded thinking about his final hint . 

The Professors thanked him for his efforts and told him that they would post his grades a week later . They took a picture of the painting and told Renjun that he could take it . 

He huffed and carried the huge canvas , which was definitely bigger than him , two floors down to where the music room was.

He found Doyoung singing and smiled hoping that one day he could sound like him . 

He entered the room placing the canvas against one of the tables and sat near the piano . 

When Doyoung noticed him , he asked "What song do you want to practice today Junie ? " 

Renjun shyly smiled and took out a notebook from his backpack passing it to Doyoung for him to see what it was. 

"Hyung , i wrote a song , a special one for someone really special for me . I was hoping to record this today to send it to him . " 

Doyoung grinned teasingly , of course , Renjun thought no one passed the opportunity without teasing him . 

"Who is this special person ? Do i know him ? Btw the lyrics are pretty deep so i assume you have fallen hard for this person."  
he laughed . 

Renjun sighed , " I guess you can say so "

They started singing the song , Renjun thinking about Jaemin the whole time pouring his whole heart out . Doyoung occasionally joined looking at the lyrics and trying to understand the song. They sang it a couple of times Doyoung giving advice here and there. after singing the 4th time , Doyoung said , 

"Junie , you are ready to record it . You already show your emotions too well and i can tell you are crazy whipped for this person . "

Renjun blushed and nodded , ready to record the last one of his hints . Already the last one , he sighed sadly . Doyoung helped him to get a good quality recording . 

It was over , he thought , thanking Doyoung and leaving with the canvas not before hearing Doyoung wishing him good luck . 

He went to a photo-printer before he went to his dorm . He wanted to get a print-out of his painting on the huge canvas since it would be hard to carry when he wanted to make his final step . 

He was unaware though of the things that were going to happen. 

Jaemin was supposed to pick Jeno from his dance practice room in the afternoon after writing his last final exam . Jeno also had his last final which was creating a dance choreo . 

He heard the familiar smooth voice that made him stop in his tracks and return a few steps to peak in the music room which he was quite familiar with thanks to the cute boy . 

A few months back then , he was supposed to pick up Jeno again from his late class since the other told him that he would treat him to dinner if he would wait for him . He heard the sound of the piano from the dark music room and since he had a couple more minutes to waste he decided he could look who was there. Especially at this hour when classes -except dance classes- already ended hours ago . He then heard a soothing voice , which impressed Jaemin and just as now back then it also made him stop for a second frozen in his place . 

After he came to his senses he slightly leaned his head to the open door . The boy's back was facing him and he couldn't tell who he was but he could swear he was an angel or something. 

This happened one time , two times and suddenly became a regular thing for Jaemin . Then he finally stopped coming and even though Jaemin wouldn't admit , he missed leaning against the doorframe relaxing for a couple of minutes , letting his mind wander off to much peaceful places , forgetting everything . 

Jeno also got suspicious when the other boy would be so willing to pick him up when before the only way he would wait for him was to offer him free food . 

One day after practice he found him on the doorframe relaxed , and he could swear he never saw his best friend like that in his entire life . 

He would normally tease him but he never said a thing when he slowly patted his shoulder to let him know that his practice was over . 

Jaemin didn't know who this pretty voice belonged to and never get the courage to ask . 

The last day he remembered him singing, was the day he was finally going to say something but when the boy suddenly stopped playing the piano when Jeno called his name, the courage he was trying to build for months flew away in milliseconds . 

He felt that, now that the boy knew who he was , he had ruined it forever . 

He sighed sadly that day listening to Jeno complain about his dance solo being stolen by someone called Sicheng . He just nodded and tried to pretend everything was alright which totally wasn't . 

He didn't even know the person so why did he get all sad he also didn't know the answer to that but his heart broke and all of his hope was now nowhere to be found .

Hearing the voice again after months filled him with hope and he wanted to run to whoever the boy was and hug him . 

When he reached the doorframe he took a deep breath and looked inside . This time the lights were all open revealing a tiny figure playing the piano . His mouth dropped and his heart was throbbing so loudly that for one second he worried the other would hear it .

He was singing so beautifully that made him want to cry. Just when he thought about entering the room , he heard another voice joining in . his head shoot up seeing Doyoung , again , feeling a pang in his chest this time the pang even hurt .

He didn't know why but at that moment he just wanted to run away . He needed air or coffee 'or him his mind said' but he shook his head wildly and ran off to the dorms crashing directly on his bed not even changing his clothes which he knew he would regret because of the pants he was wearing but at that point he didn't care . 

He turned his phone off throwing it on his desk and letting out a silent scream into his pillow . He was glad for once that Jisung was not in the room , seeing him like this he would be crazy worried he thought .

He just denied the things that were going on inside him and tried to sleep and with the 3 hours of sleep he got five days in a row for once helped him falling asleep faster than he had imagined . 

Renjun on the other hand was nervously focused on the text message he contemplated whether he should send or not too many times before letting out a "fuck it" and pressing the send button . The semester was going to end in a month anyway so they might not even see eachother in just a months time and the thought broke his heart . 

from : Huang Renjun 

to : Nana 

* a recording named ' all the things we can be '  
has been attached *

*a photo named 'you make my heart experience the big bang  
all over again' has been attached* 

hey Jaemin , 

i dont know if you are surprised at this point but i was your  
'secret admirer' and if i caused you any inconvenience i am  
truly sorry . i know we really shared no actual conversation  
out of class but somehow there is so much about you  
that pull me to you 

this is my last gift for you as i don't want to disturb you  
further . but even if there is a slight chance you could give ,  
i can prove you how i am more than just a creep sending  
you drawings . 

i will be on the rooftop of the dorms at 10pm , 

if you decide to come , thank you 

hopefully , see you ~ 

Yes , he finally built up the courage and it was exactly like Chenle told in the beginning . Baby steps made him now text his undying love -Chenle's words- , inviting him to meet him so that he could confess . 

He felt his hands getting sweaty and he put on his baggy sweatshirt grabbing the print-out of the painting , before heading out . Chenle wasn't in the room so he thought he would talk to him after the meeting . 

It was 11 pm and he was still waiting sitting on the floor tired of waiting on foot . 

As he felt his fingers going numb , his watch showed that it was 2 am . He wasn't coming , was he ? he thought , tears slowly forming and running down his cheek . 

He ran to the room and immediately threw himself on the bed trying not to wake Chenle up who was soundly sleeping , with his sobs .

He couldn't believe it , where all those smiles he flashed to him fake or whenever he recieved something from him , were his reactions fake ? 

How could this be possible , he was the most genuine person Renjun knew and he just couldn't understand . 

He fell asleep with a pounding headache and puffy red eyes which clearly wasnt how he expected it to end up . 

\+ ♡ 

The next night , Renjun didn't know how he ended up at a party filled with people who came to celebrate the end of the finals. 

Donghyuck showed up in his room while he was watching cat videos , eating his favorite Chinese meal . He knew something was off but instead of questioning , he went to Renjun's closet choosing the most party-like clothes he could find . 

He threw the clothes on Renjun's bed where he was laying trying to understand what the cat in the video was saying as the title was ' Cats speaking English ' 

He didnt even notice the clothes Donghyuck threw on his bed and smiled when he finally understood that the cat was saying  
" don't leave me " to its owner . 

When Donghyuck shook him his shoulder with his hands , almost spilling his food , Renjun finally looked up to glare at his friend . 

"Look i dont know what happened and i know you wont tell me even if i beg you right now . so just come with me take a few shots, maybe make out with a stranger i dont know , just anything that isnt as pathetic as this " He pointed to the cat videos playing on his laptop . 

Renjun sighed and thought , Donghyuck was right there was no chance that this was going to end up in a healthy situation . He nodded and went to the bathroom to get ready and here he was at a party filled with drunk teenagers dancing everywhere . 

Even though Renjun wasnt the party type he wanted to drink and get his mind off the pink haired boy for once that night . 

Speak of the devil he thought , as he saw the pink haired boy on the dance floor . He was dancing like crazy and boy he looked hot dancing like that . 

Renjun always mentioned how cute he was and all that but when he saw him on the dance floor like that all he wanted to do was to lean him against a wall and kiss him hard . 

His sweaty hair moved in sync with his body and boy, his body moved so smooth that made nasty things cross his mind . As he looked closer , he froze in his place . The Chinese dancer - Lucas - was behind him dancing with him , grinding . Their bodies moved in harmony which made Renjun's blood boil with anger . 

Was he stood up because of that boy ? He knew he wasnt as good lucking or as talented as that boy , but he felt angry , even more than angry he was jealous . Jealous that it wasnt him who was touching him like 'that' . 

Donghyuck already dissappeared seconds after arriving probably making out with Mark . So he wandered off trying to find the kitchen to get his head off from the view that was making him dizzy. 

When he found the kitchen , he grabbed a bottle of whatever alcohol that was and found an empty place on the couch which was filled with people sitting on top of each other . He didnt look anywhere else than the dance floor and the pink haired boy while swallowing the bitter alcohol that was slowly showing its effects . 

Renjun never really drank before besides a few beers here and there , he was more of the responsible one when it came to partying . 

But not tonight he thought as he took one more sip . 

His mind was blurry and he felt dizzy at some point , not realizing the concerned looks thrown his way by the pink haired boy who clearly wasn't drunk . 

He got up from his seat after the half empty bottle was now fully finished . He was almost falling on his way to the kitchen when a hand caught him by his waist . 

He looked at the owner of those hands and came eye to eye with none other than his Nana . 

"Are you okay ? " he asked voice evident of worry . He tried to pull his arm off his waist which caused him to almost fall right on his face again . Jaemin caught him again holding on to his arm . 

He pulled Renjun outside which Renjun couldnt fight off since he was far too wasted . On the way outside Jaemin grabbed a bottle of water from the table and when they got outside Renjun realized he could finally breathe again . 

They stopped on the doorsteps , Jaemin making him have a seat and then sitting next to him opening the lid of the bottle before giving it to Renjun , which he gladly accepted since his throat was dry and he felt like he couldnt speak . 

After gulping down nearly half of the bottle Renjun looked at him and said , "I hate you for being so hot " which caused a confused expression on the other boy's face at which changed when he realized how cute the boy was , and tiny . 

Renjun's stupid drunk mouth of course didn't shut up " I hate you for not getting off my mind for a single second " 

Jaemin replied " you dont seem to get out of mine too so i think we are equal on that " he answered smiling . 

"dont lie to me , you didnt even come to the rooftop yesterday , i waited 4 hours for you " he told him with a trembling voice, recalling yesterdays memories . 

Jaemin was now super confused , " wait , what rooftop are you talking about , are you sure you are talking about me ? " he said.

Renjun hit him on his shoulder , voice slightly louder , " Na Jaemin don't play with me , dont you remember the text i sent you " 

Jaemin tried to remember something about a text message then he realized his phone was still turned off on his desk . Jaemin immediately stood up causing Renjun to stumble as his arm was still on his shoulder . 

He held out his hand to Renjun , which Renjun stared at as if he grew a second head . 

"Come with me , my phone has been closed since yesterday after i saw you and Doyoung hyung singing together " 

The drunk boy was even more confused now slightly sobering up but still feeling tipsy he just grabbed Jaemin's hand without further questioning. 

They walked to the dorms , hand in hand , both not sure what the other one was feeling . 

Renjun wanted to tell him about the text message but no words came out of his mouth as his mind was still blurry . 

As they entered the elevator and Renjun was about to press the button of his own floor , Jaemin stopped him grabbing his hand with his free hand that wasnt holding Renjun's hand. They just exchanged a look and Renjun nodded silently watching how the blurryness slowly beginning to wash away and a slight headache started to form on his forehead .

He took a deep breath before entering Jaemin's room . Jisung was nowhere to be seen . He was about to look at Jaemin's desk when he felt a strong burning liquid coming to this mouth so he ran to the bathroom leaving a very concerned Jaemin behind who was trying to come after him but couldn't reach to him since Renjun locked the door . 

Before rejection , at least , he didnt want him to see him like that he thought before vomiting all the alcohol to the toilet in front of him . After he was done he flushed it he went next to the sink and took the toothpaste laying on a shelf squeezing a little on his finger before putting it into his mouth and chewed on it trying to get the gross taste out . He rinsed his mouth and washed his face 10 times to feel awake . 

The face washing wasnt as effective as the realization that he was in Jaemin's room . He suddenly went out of the room finding a concerned boy standing and waiting in front of the door with a pair of fluffy pyjamas that he held . 

"Are you okay ? " he asked for the second time that night. 

Renjun nodded but he was far from okay , his heart was beating as if it was going to blow up . The hot boy in front of him certainly wasnt making things easier for him . 

"I think i should be leaving now " he mumbled looking at his feet making an attempt to move when Jaemin softly grabbed onto his wrist . 

"Please wear these , my roommate is probably not going to be here tonight so you can sleep here " he looked at him with soft eyes . 

Despite how hot he looked , now he was making his heart all squishy with that look. He nodded and the other boy turned around for him to comfortably change and picked another pair of pyjamas from his closet to change himself too . 

After they both changed Renjun slowly started walking around the room when Jaemin was on his bed impulsively trying to turn his phone on . 

He was going to tell him that it didnt matter at this point but something made him freeze . His drawings , the ones he made for Jaemin where all hung up on the walls . Even the one he drew from his tablet . Did he really take all the effort to print it out ? he asked himself . He was in shock and also feeling the little hope that failed him yesterday . 

He wanted to ask Jaemin what this all meant when a soft song filled the room . It was the song he wrote for him and recorded yesterday . 

The lyrics fills the room as he turned to look at Jaemin whose eyes were filled with tears . 

" If only i wasn't a coward ,  
can you dream about all the things we can do  
because i can , i can dream  
about all the things we can be "

He stood up as soon as the song ended , tears streaming down his face , no Renjun was sure Jaemin wasnt drunk or something since he was clearly sober when he took care of him , so why was he crying ? 

"Renjun , i am really sorry " he whispered before hugging him. Renjun put his arms around the boy's waist without a second thought and whispered , " hey , it's no problem . i am the one who is sorry , you had to deal with my drunk ass instead dancing with hot boys" his voice becoming even more silent as he said those last words.

Jaemin pulled back and faced Renjun , 

"I have been listening to you singing for a while now Renjun and even before i knew it was you , i fell in love with your voice . But seeing you singing like that with Doyoung hyung just after i finally found out it was you who owned that pretty voice , i couldnt help but get angry . Earlier that day i was going to help you carry that canvas when Doyoung hyung suddenly showed up there too . I dont know why but it hurt me so much"

Renjun's mouth was open in shock , he never expected this coming from the other boy and by other boy he meant Na Jaemin . The perfect in almost every possible way , boy . 

"I-I , Jaemin , how , i dont understand " he started 

Jaemin continued " After your friend Donghyuck left the book in the library which was the 4th hint , I found myself hoping that it was you who was behind all of this . I dont even know when it all started . One day i remember staring at the cute boy in class and the other day i find myself hoping that the boy has a crush on me which is so freaking selfish i know but-" he was silenced with Renjun's finger on his mouth. 

Renjun smiled , that smile which made Jaemin head over heels for him . 

"I fell for you hard pretty boy , so damn hard that i took my roommates advice to send you my drawings so that i could build some courage to confess to you and here i am . Its just  
last night i felt stood up and felt all my courage fly away" 

Jaemin whispered "close your eyes " 

Renjun stared at him confusedly " hey Na Jaemin i am confessing to you here and you are telling me to close my eyes why-"

"just please Junnie trust me with this , all this time you gave me such great gifts and this time i want to give you one so please " he looked with puppy eyes which made Renjun almost pinch and kiss his cheeks . 

"you better have a good gift or-" he was cut of with Jaemin's lips softly crashing against his own which even though was obvious he didnt think he was going to kiss him. 

He slowly kissed him back letting his hands come up to his pink hair which was even softer than it looked . Jaemin put his arms slowly around the boy's waist as if the boy was going to break if he pulled him a little harder . 

After they both pulled away , Renjun trying to steady his breath and take in the sweet taste of the lips of Jaemin , leaned his forehead against Jaemin's who was now smiling at him .

"Huang Renjun , did you know you were the cutest thing i came across in my whole living even cuter than all the cat videos you sent me and more , even cuter than dogs . " 

Renjun rolled his eyes at that and tried to pull out of his grip but Jaemin didn't let him . 

"I ran away once and now i wont let go of you the second time. I never realized how whipped i am for you until now . I knew i liked you and found you cute but right now i just want to hold you in my arms for days and kiss you . "

Renjun never thought he would see this side of the boy which he felt lucky . Na Jaemin the boy everyone wanted , the same boy he was crushing on for months , was where not letting go of him . 

Leaning in he whispered "Do it then baby" feeling an excited feeling turning in his stomach when he realized what he had called him . 

Jaemin without a single thought kissed him again and again until they somehow ended up on the bed cuddling . Renjun only hears Jaemin mumbling " I love you Junjunie , i was going to ask you this earlier but your lips distracted me so blame them for not asking you sooner . Will you date me , please ? "

Renjun smiled almost asleep and he couldnt tell if this was reality or just one of his dreams , but he answered anyways ,

"I love you too dumb-dumb" 

They both got their best sleep that night cuddled in eachothers' arms . 

They both woke up to a shocked scream from 2 boys . Jisung and Chenle standing in front of the bed , staring at the cuddling couple and scrunching their noses trying to pretend that they weren't the ones who were just cuddling in Chenle's bed a couple of minutes ago . 

Chenle flashed a smile at him before saying 

"You owe me big time Hyung " Renjun who just opened his eyes a few minutes ago looked at them both , confusedly when Chenle held Jisung's hand to leave the new couple enjoy their first morning together wrapped in eachothers' warm presence feeling peacefulness all over their bodies . 

That Chenle kid really was something , Renjun thought before burying his head further into Jaemin's chest taking in the smell that made him feel nowhere but home . 

"Nana thank you " he whispered before falling asleep again in the arms of the boy who was his happiness . 

Jaemin smiled through his sleepiness not quite awake but still hearing what the boy said , " I must be the one thanking you for coming into my life " 

He also fell asleep there, thinking about the tiny boy who was nuzzled against his chest holding on to him as if he is never going to let go of him which created a smile on Jaemin's face and he also squeezed him close against his chest .

Even he himself , didn't remember a day he had smiled brighter .

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it till the end , i am really thankful you read. Thank you so much .
> 
> I would really appreciate comments/kudos ^^
> 
> and feel free to give me any feedback , i would appreciate it since i am a new writer and still have a lot to learn. 
> 
> have a good day ~


End file.
